Why I Don't Pay My Kids to Clean Their Room - Chore Binder System Explained.

About 5 years ago when my oldest child was 5 I began my quest for a chore system that would fit our families needs.

I ran into 2 main problems:

1. All the chore systems out there were wall or fridge based. At the time I was a major decor junkie and I couldn't stand that all the chore systems had to clutter up my wall or fridge space- and that most of them didn't match. Don't worry- I've progressed past that OCD stage but deep down inside I'm still a little obsessed about order and visual aesthetics- even though my home is rarely a reflection of that due to 4 little people that do their darnedest to make sure that my house is ever a reflection of a massive toy and art explosion

2. Most of the chore systems out there were based around a system that involved paying your children to do things that I felt were a responsibility. For example- I don't think that kids should be paid to clean their room. Or brush their teeth. Or the systems rewarded kids with stickers, treats, or cash but didn't integrate life skills and autonomy.

So what's an OCD Mommy of 4 armed with ambition and Photoshop to do? Why design her OWN chore system of course!

After over a year of twerking and making necessary changes based off of what was working and what wasn't- I had an entire system in place that was color coded per child, fit neatly on a shelf, and 4 happy children who LOVED doing their chores!

* They love it because they each get their OWN binder. It is THEIRS. Not mine. 

*They love it because they get paid every week! And with said money they get to spend and budget accordingly and don't have to ask me for money or items anymore. 

*They love it because I'm not nagging them anymore about what to do, when, and how. Not only for their chores but also when it comes to cleaning their room and their daily hygiene.

So why don't I pay my kids to clean their rooms or brush their teeth? It's simple:

I want my home to be a safe and loving reflection of the real world- since that is what they will be entering one day. A place to learn, grow, make mistakes, and prosper, all under my roof and loving guidance

So how do we do that? 

In the real world (generally speaking) you go to work, get paid for going to work, and then come home. And you are expected to fulfill (hopefully happily and willingly) whatever responsibilities are necessary at both places. 

The way I decided to apply that theory and practice  into our home was simple. Their room became their "home" and our home became  their "job". Their physical hygiene is wrapped up in their "home" responsibilities. Because short of being a Trucker I can't think of any other job where it's OK for you to brush your teeth, shower, and get dressed on the job.

So in order to mimic real adult life as much as possible my children were now expected to go to "work" in order to receive a paycheck- which they would now need to purchase all their wants and needs. Before the age of 8 I take care of all their needs. Shoes, school supplies, new outfits, etc. But after the age of 8 they get a pay increase and that responsibility falls on them. And they LOVE it! It does my heart good to see my 8 and 10 year olds get out their shopping lists and budget their wants vs. their needs. Granted, they will make mistakes. Oops- spent all the money at the movies and on that brand new toy they thought they needed...  but it doesn't take them long to figure out that they disappointed themselves by blowing all their money in one place.

The thing is... I WANT them to make those mistakes NOW and not when they are 18 and handed a credit card! By that age the mistakes are usually on a much grander scale with much higher consequences. 

Plus, giving your children the responsibility of their own lives via their own finances builds trust, communication, and self esteem! 

AND they learn to take better care of what they have because if it breaks or gets worn out- they know it's THEIR responsibility to replace it.

This also means that I'm no longer paying for all their wants/needs so our budget has remained the same. The money is simply redirected into their hands instead of my wallet.

About half way through our little binder experiment I realized that I could make this even more life applicable by also giving them the freedom to choose whether or not they wanted to go to work that day. In the real world if you miss a day of work you miss out on a piece of your pay check. And once you're at work- you rarely get to choose what you have to do. You have a list of expectations (whether they are boss given or self directed) and you are supposed to get them done.

So now I don't force my children to go to work. But once they decide to go to work that day- they do all that was assigned. They don't get to pick and choose. In our home my children rarely take a day off. They want their paycheck on Saturday and they don't want it to be smaller than any of their siblings. But of course it happens and when it does, I don't freak out about it anymore. Granted, I may have to pick up their slack, or that chore won't get done at all that day, but that's OK! We are thinking bigger picture here! We are trying to build a life skill now not just keep the house clean and tidy. 

To BUY THIS SYSTEM as an instant download CLICK HERE

To BUY JUST THE CHORE CARDS as an instant download CLICK HERE

To See all that is included in the Responsibility Binders CLICK HERE!

HAPPY PARENTING!

Teaching Your Children to be Independent

I mentioned before that one of the most important things I think you could ever teach your kids is how to identify, process, and cope with their emotions. Well one of the other top things on my list is teaching them how to be independent!

Think about all the things that you didn't know and/or wish you would have known when you left your parents nest. Did laundry intimidate you? Did you know how to change a tire? Did you know how to meal plan and grocery shop or did you live off cereal and ramen (like me)?

How capable did you feel?

Each year my kids receive an Independence list which has various tasks on it for them to learn that I feel will help them gain knowledgeable independence, and perhaps more importantly, help them gain confidence and feel capable to take on their adult lives.

Year by year they slowly chomp at the bit learning things like how to dress themselves to match (age 3) how to budget and save money (age 7), how to build a fire (age 9), how to meal plan within a budget and grocery shop off that meal plan (age 10), how to change a tire (age 13) and even how to do their own taxes (age 16 or when they have their first job)

To see the list with age by age recommendations.. CLICK HERE (after clicking, scroll down a bit to see it)

My kids LOVE learning the things on their lists! They are all things that they are perfectly capable of learning by that age- but also challenging enough to keep them interested and excited. After all, it might be boring for a 10 year old to learn  how to dress and match themselves, but exciting to learn how to sew!

Here is the printable I made so we could keep track of what they need to learn and check off what they've already accomplished.

(Scroll down to print)

First I fill out all the things that I feel like they need, and are ready to learn. After they have learned it we check it off and I initial it just for kicks:) Makes it seem more "official" :)

There are certain things that I don't know how to do, like change and blow up a bike tire for example, so there is a "helpers to enlist" box to write down names of family, friends, or neighbors who could help teach and train them in any areas that you don't "specialize" in. (We enlisted Dad's help for the tire changing.)
The post it note is for detachable ideas, notes, and even phone numbers. They work on the list slowly over the year or summer, so each task requires a different set of notes and numbers. Hence the post-it space:)

And finally, when my children have completed the entire list we date and sign it! We decide on an appropriate award based on each child's needs and wants BEFORE they tackle the list to help motivate them. Then, when they've passed off the entire list, we give said award. Ice cream dates, new outfits, and movie dates are the most popular reward in our household.

I have these available in all the same colors as the Family Planner printables. That way you can make a copy of your child's list and keep it behind whatever day of the week that you decide to work on it as a friendly "weekly reminder". OR at least it will match :)
In my case- my children are "color coded". (Makes life super easy. There's no fighting over who get's what cup, towel, bowl, dress, toy, etc- because everyone knows that X color = X kid.) So my blue kid has the blue Independence List. My Red kid has the red one, and so on.

Regardless, I hope you enjoy these printables! Not only is having an Independence List a fun thing to do... it's also a fun thing to save! Makes for great scrapbooking/memory keeping!

CLICK HERE TO PRINT. 

Comes in a package of all the colors- so make sure you set your printer to only print the pages/colors that you want!

Enjoy!

Chore Cards

UPDATE: I am now selling INSTANT DOWNLOADS of the binder system described below. 


In my family each of my children has a "Responsibility Binder". (NOW AVAILABLE AS AN INSTANT DOWNLOAD!) In this binder you will find:
Their daily responsibilities "to-do" list
Their Chore Cards pages, Monday through Saturday
Calendar (for our monthly planning meeting)
Independence List
and Personal Interview page.

Not only does this teach my children personal accountability, but also about the importance of personal planning and organization.
And FYI - my oldest is 8 and even my 3 year old has one! So don't think that your child is too young for something like this!

Our Chore Cards fit perfectly into baseball card page protectors! So every week on Sunday nights I update all my kids binders for the upcoming weeks chore assignments.
(Oh... and FYI I have a master binder that holds all the cards.) It's inside my Family Planner.

Each child has Monday through Saturday  separate chore pages and each page holds 3-5 chores depending on the age of the child and the difficulty of the chore.

 Once a chore has been completed, and I pass it off, they turn it over.

After they complete their Saturday chores, they get paid. We call Saturday "Pay Day". I pay my children .25 cents a chore. This usually accumulates to $5-$7 a week.

Here is the catch. I like the things that I teach my kids to apply to the real world. Soooooo,

**Chores are not mandatory in our household!!** You're probably thinking, "WHAT??!!!!?!?!"

Here's why:

In the real world, if you go to work, you get paid. And once you're at work, you don't get to pick and choose what you get to do, you do what you're assigned and what needs to get done.
So, if my kids decide that they don't want to do their chores that day, they don't get paid. Simple as that. HOWEVER, If they decide to "go to work" and do their chores, they don't get to pick and choose which ones they do that day and which ones they don't. They do what they were assigned.

Yes this system means that there are days when chores don't get done. But come pay day, when one child get's $7 and the other only gets $3 it's a real bite in the butt! And more often than not, the $3 kid works way harder the next week due to that poor pay day.

Now one thing that IS mandatory is their Personal Responsibilities.

(Making their bed, keeping their room clean, picking up after themselves, doing their homework, getting up and ready for the day and putting themselves to sleep responsibly by brushing their teeth and getting their backpacks and lunches ready for the next day.)

In the real world, you have responsibilities. And in the real world, you don't get paid to fulfill your responsibilities.
Granted, when you grow up, chores become responsibilities, but when kids are young, chores are the closest thing to "work". 

Now I know that this won't work for everyone. Every family has a different system. So, I'm sure you could use these cards in a million different ways.

*Put them on Popsicle sticks

*Attach a key chain and sort the chores by day with 5 or 6 separate key chains, and then hang it on a chore board.

*Attach magnets and put them on your fridge....

If you decide to do something else with these cards let me know! I'd love to see them and showcase it!

CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK TO THE FREE DOWNLOAD 
or click the picture at the top of this post.

Happy Parenting!

UPDATE: If you're looking for something a bit more integrated or even MORE chore cards.... CLICK HERE

Teaching Children Independance

I recently heard a talk by Merrilee Boyack entitled: "Teaching Your Children To Fly!" ( I highly recommend listening to it!)

The talk inspired me to create the following free printables. They go hand in hand with what she teaches. 

Enjoy!!

List of skills to teach by age:


Fill in the blank personalized sheet